thoughts

Hi everyone! First I must apologize for the lack of writing the last couple of weeks. I don’t have any great stories to tell today. I just want to put my heart out there in an effort to remain transparent as I try to live my life as see through as I can. For a couple of weeks now, I have really been struggling. A few weeks ago I took my first teacher certification test. I failed. From that day until now, I have let satan convince me that I am just that…a failure. The sad part is that when I listen to satan once, it is very easy to let his thoughts consume my own – blocking out all TRUTH from Jesus. My entire family was sick for about 8 days which definitely added to the weight of stress and exhaustion. When I am in such a downward spiral of letting satan win, sin takes over. I stop reading God’s Word…stop praying…stop looking for God’s light and guidance because I am now convinced that I am all that satan says. Instead of rejoicing in who God KNOWS I am. Throughout this process, I stop writing. In his lies, satan convinces me that no one really needs to read what God is showing me. So I stop. I have started to write this email a hundred times, but the deceiver wins by reminding me of my failures and filling me with the fear that if people really knew my struggles, their love for me would be no longer. Today that ends.

Today in my effort to be transparent, I tell you that I have been letting satan win in my life. This morning when I woke up, I finally heard God’s voice. Calling me out of the darkness. This morning I listened. This morning as I drove to work, I decided that I would be different. I turned off my sad music and put in my Avalon. I let the words of the songs seep into my heart and ached to hear more of what Jesus says to me. This morning I yearned for TRUTH…and it was there as it always is…without fail.

Know today that if you are in a place of darkness, if you have become very comfortable in that place, you are not alone. God has not stopped talking to you or wanting you or loving you. He is there. It is time to take satan’s thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. And if you can’t do this on your own, I am here. I am able to pray for you in a most empathetic way. I ask that you not give the darkness one more moment. Join me in the light…it is wonderful.